Go five years in reverse from today and you would’ve found me getting adjusted to living all by myself for the first time ever in my life. I was in the middle of a heartbreaking divorce, holed up in a tiny, sterile apartment grieving, wondering how I could ever be happy again without the safety of my marriage and my family…a marriage that, incidentally, provided me with many years of a different kind of grief altogether. Obviously, I was forced to get used to it against my will. Some things are completely beyond our control and divorce is sometimes one of them. In the beginning of my transmutation from couplehood to spinsterhood, I still had a small child at home but since then he has grown into an independent young man with an affection for X-treme sports and his own vehicle. As a result, I’ve stayed home by myself a lot over the last few years. Yes, it gets too quiet sometimes, but I’m thankful for the slow boil of my seclusion over the years in this state. Read more
I was married for a really long time, and then my husband and I split up.
I wish it were that simple. I was alone by choice for several years. I remained married in my mind if not on paper and insisted on maintaining (with a death grip) my own self-imposed isolation from the dating world. Then, after several years of this lonely nonsense I decided to get my groove back, shake off my love martyrdom and get back out there. Almost immediately I met Someone Else and I almost married him right out of the gate without considering any other candidates and without entertaining what other choices might possibly be behind door number two and three. I shop for clothes the same way: I see something I like, so I buy it before thinking about what could go wrong if I take it home and it doesn’t fit. Read more