Fairies and Sprites
For my girls. be patient.
If he’s all you can think about as you stare out of a window, that’s not love. That could be anything. Worry, pain, hope, or anticipation.
But if out of that window you see a summer breeze tickling the tree limbs and you wish you were with him, the heat of that warm breeze making you lean in closer, walking and holding hands, sharing one ice cream cone, well that might be love.
If you’re hurting, or scared, or if you feel lonely, and you don’t know how he would feel if he knew, that’s not love.
But if he’s all that will bring a calmness to your mind when you’re hurting, scared, or lonely, and he’s the only one who might know just the right thing to say to make you feel like it will all work out, there’s a good chance that’s love.
If he tells you you’re beautiful in a pretty new dress, that’s nice. That’s not love.
But if he looks at you when your hair is dirty and your make-up is gone, and with his eyes and no words he tells you you’re beautiful, I promise, that’s love.
If he asks ‘what can I do to help you feel better?’ that’s not love.
But when he just holds you, because you failed, because you lost, or because none of those things happened but you still feel defeated, oh, that’s love!
If he brings you flowers, big arrogant bouquets from the most expensive stores, that’s not love. And those die anyway.
But if he stops on the sidewalk to bend over to pick a daisy just so he can tuck it into your hair awkwardly, smiling as he does this because he feels silly and awkward and he knows you’ll blush, and he tells you ‘it’s not as pretty as you are,’ just to make you laugh too, that’s definitely love, and the memory of that moment will live inside of you forever.
If he buys you a nice dinner at a restaurant that has all the best reviews, girls, that’s not love.
But if he wants to share his pie with you, simply because you said ‘that looks delicious,’ let him, because that’s love.
If he asks you what’s wrong, and when you say ‘nothing,’ he says ‘please tell me,’ maybe that’s not love. Or maybe it is.
But if he senses without asking that you are not yourself, and he comes to you to see about it, because he can’t help it, because he has to know, because your pain is his pain, that’s love.
If you are the one he wants to share his secrets with, that’s not exactly love, either.
But if his news is important, or sad, or happy, or devastating, and you are the first one he needs to share it with, that’s love. And trust, too.
Because see, love is not about what a man does for you to show his love, it’s about what a man does to your mind to make you feel loved. If a man can get inside the caverns of your emotions, and he can exist there in a way that puts glitter in your eyes and sunshine on your smile, when his happiness comes because yours does first, he grows in your heart in the same way a summer rainfall turns the trees green and makes the grass shoot straight up. You walk taller and speak with confidence, because you have someone you believe telling you you’re important and smart. And he has made you feel powerful, and cared for. At the same time. Because he loves you, and you know your love is safe as long as he is holding onto it.
If this isn’t what you have, it might not be love.
A man who loves you does not hurt you on purpose, ever.
A man who loves you wants your belly laughs and your squeals, because those sounds mean the person he cares for most is well, and safe, and happy. It is a reassurance that all men need in order to feel strong. If your tears hurt him the way they hurt you…it might really be love.
A man who loves you sees the fairies and the sprites that dance behind the color of your eyes, and he loves when those fairies are dancing their hearts out. Because that is what makes his eyes dance as well.
A man who wants to make you happy does this by being your best friend, the one you know is the first to want your good news, your bad days, your devastating losses, your biggest victories.
A man who loves you need not tell you so. You will know….you’ll just know, because it feels like only real love feels.